My Ethiopian Family

The Bus ride from Addis to Butajira was about 1.5 hours of sleep and 1 hour of me staring out the window at the numbers of crops, donkeys, goat and horses that were sprinkled all throughout Addis and seen more and more as we ventured further into the countryside. I sat in my cramped seat, with two heavy bags, carrying what I considered my most valuable items: my laptop, iPod, kindle, GoPro, and my wallet amongst a few other things.

The drive was calming, the scenery beautiful, and I was anxious to move into this next phase of my Peace Corps life. As we pulled into Butajira, my nerves began to rise and the a flood of thoughts came

“I should have used the bathroom while I was in Addis! Now I have to go, but there will be no flushing toilets. I have to learn how to poop in a hole. POOP IN A HOLE!!!!”

“ Why didn't I study the language more?! Omg i’ve forgotten how to say Hi"


(all words are spelled out phonetically)

AH-MAH-SAY-GUH-NA-LOW

Wait.. No, thats Thank You

SA - LAM       

yeah that works…but wait is that only for Muslim families?! Oh crap im not sure….

DAY - NAH - NESH

yes! I think thats it… but thats only for women, what if my host dad is there?

and I continued to freak out like this until we arrived. When we pulled up to the hotel where we were all supposed to meet our new families, I was ready. My Amharic sucked, but I told myself to just keep smiling, and I think it worked.

After unloading our luggage, 25 of us were told to walk into the restaurant portion of the hotel and to find our host families. The families would be standing up in a line with a name tag… the family with your name tag, was your family for the next 3 months.

My eyes darted from left to right, taking in all the Ethiopian families standing in a row, with big smiles and bright eyes and I searched for my name tag. A stout man with a slight grin and a 4 year old little girl clinging onto his arm was standing to the far left, holding up the name “ASHLEY”.

As soon as I saw him I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and thought

And with that thought, I headed over towards my new AH-BAT (Dad in Amharic). His smile widened, as if with surprise, when he saw my face. I would like to say that maybe he was stunned by my breath taking beauty, but honestly I think he was shocked to see a Black volunteer (There aren't too many of us). We greeted one another with a handshake and a hug, his daughter, Betselot (BEH - SEH -LO) stared blankly at me from behind her fathers leg, and I just continued to smile.

Photo of my lil sis and her Dad.



We took our seats at a nearby table, grabbed a plate of food and began talking… or trying to talk in Amharic.

(translated for your pleasure)


Ashley: Hi, my name is Ashley
Host Dad: ASTH - LEY?
Ashley: *nervous laughter* yes, Ashley. How are you Ms.?
Host Dad: *confused look*
Ashley: Amharic bad. My Mom where
Host Dad: oh My wife is at home
Ashley: Oh Home! Go Home
Host Dad: We can walk, the house is about half a mile. Are you hungry?
Ashley: Food. I don't like injera.
*silence and a smile*
Ashley: Very good. My name is Ashley

But through it all, I just kept smiling.


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After awkward introductions, smiles and eating silently, we boarded the bus together and rode to my new home

Tadele (Tah - Deh - Le) my host father, lives on a compound with his wife, Emebet (Eh-Meh-Bet), their 4 year old daughter Betselot (Beh - She -Lot) and 14 year old relative Meheret (Meh-He-Ret). The compound is very spacious, very green and its gated (yay for privacy). When I walked through the 6 ft tall gates I began to take in my surroundings. The house is very modest, but its surrounded by trees and tall grass. There is a guard dog tied up near the back of the compound and about 6 chickens and 2 roosters running around. A clothesline hangs, strung up from tree to tree and there are about 3 main buildings on this compound, the main house, the kitchen and another building that Im guessing is where Meheret (the 14 year old relative) sleeps.

Map Of Compound

I finally met my host mother and she has such a good spirit and a wonderful smile. She just smiled and laughed as she gave me a tour of her home. Her English is the best, although its very basic and when words failed us, we both took to miming out things we wanted to say.


.View from the front gate.

 My host mom took me to my new bedroom, which is adjacent to the living room, and I began to unpack.
My room is small, like 10x10 feet, its a perfect square with 1 twin sized bed, a wooden bench and a window with a prime location so I can clearly hear the roosters crow in the morning.

photo of the compound I live on. To the Right is the entrance into the main house, to the left is the kitchen.

My families yard in our compound and the dog house.

The "western" Bathroom, we also have a Shint Bet... and Ill explain that one later haha

My bedroom

The view outside my bedroom window

The whole family and 2 other relatives came into my small room and began to hang up my mosquito net for me. I just sat there quietly as a flurry of Amharic words were spoken and people began nailing my Mosquito net into the walls and instructing me on how to take it down during the day.

photo of mosquito net up

These people are so sweet. My Ahbate (dad) and Inate (mom) are both Protestant Christian and let me know that we will be attending Chruch on sunday morning. My Ahbate is an Evangelist, and my Inate is a teacher. I couldn't be happier with how things have turned out, Im excited to see whats in store for the rest of this week and Im determined to make my 4 year old sister more comfortable around me, so far she just stares blankly and clutches to her father.


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Dinner was served around 800pm, and to my surprise only the Dad and myself were served.

“Arent you going to eat with us?” I asked my Inate (mom), she smiled and replied (in english), “I work, no eat now.” And it dawned on me that I was being honored as a guest because I ate first, with the man of the house while the other women worked. Even 4 year old Beselot had to wait to eat. From what I’ve learned Ethiopia is very patriarchal and traditional. The women have their roles to play, and so do the men, but it made me very uncomfortable to be eating alone at the table with my host dad and him only. I’d rather be with the other women, working, cleaning and waiting to eat after my host dad finishes. I know it was only the first day, so I’ll play my role as the guest, but I don't want to be treated as a guest, I want to be a member of the family, not seen as the goofy and non-understanding American. Im here to become Ethiopian, in every sense of the word and I’ll spend the next few months trying to attain this status and become a member of this family.



"Well do you want to pray before we eat?" I asked in English, knowing my Ahbate is a religious man. "Pray!" He said enthusiastically, and he bowed his head and looked at me with a smile. "Oh you want me to pray?" I said nervously, then I cleared my throat and began to pray... "Father I come to you in the name of Jesus, and I ask you to bless this food. I thank you for bringing me into this wonderful home and pray that you watch over me and this family...

As I prayed my mind was reeling with fear that I would say something and offend this man and his family. I was half expecting him to say "GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN" or something to that effect because although I know he is Protestant Christian, I have no idea what the protocol is for praying in this denomination, or if they pray to the Father, or only to Jesus, or if they have a particular way of praying...there was just so much that could have happened, but instead he only smiled and said "Amen" as the prayer ended and we began to eat.

I asked to be excused to bed after finishing my dinner which was comprised of Spaghetti noodles, homemade bread, and chunks of beef.

“you don’t want bunna (Coffee)” My host dad asked me.
“Oh no thank you” I said.
I had forgotten that its very common to have a bunna ceremony at 9pm here, and although I dont like coffee, especially 30min before Im trying to sleep, Ill make sure to try it next time.

I went into my bedroom, hung up my mosquito net and my Ahbate (dad), watched me as I crawled under the covers. (Him standing there watching me was very weird… i wont lie haha, but I know He just wanted to make sure I did it right. Our host families are told to treat us Americans like know nothing babies, because honestly we are like children and dont know anything when it comes to this culture and its norms.

Before my Ahbate turned off the light in my bedroom, he placed an orange plastic bucket on the floor next to my bed.

“Whats that for” I asked.
“uhh toilet” he said, as he smiled and left.

I really am in the Peace Corps now, I thought to myself as I drifted off to sleep.