Day 1 of 800
and so far so good.
and so far so good.
I boarded a plane yesterday with a mixture of apprehension, excitement and a mind full of expectations and worry.
Worry that doubled over when the airline I flew in on lost my luggage. Excitement that soared when I meet some of the other American volunteers who will be serving with me in Ethiopia. Its been an emotional day to say the least, but im sure today will be nothing compared to the highs and lows I will feel while on this 2 year adventure.
Its just all so surreal, I have not fully processed the fact that I'll be calling Africa my new home soon....and I dont know when it will hit me, honestly.
Theres so much doubt and worry that comes with choosing to be a Peace Corps volunteer. Fear regarding missed career opportunities, real money I could be making over these 2 years, the potential dangers of being a single American woman alone in a developing nation or worrying about coming back after my PC service at 27 years old, single & feeling rushed to pop out a kid and get married.
There are so many things I can stress over. But I try to remember that before anything else, I am here to serve. That I am to die unto myself, so that Christ may live, that I am here to follow his footsteps, to perform his work, and not trail-blaze a path of my own.
I have decided to not let the fears of this world, of these small matters compared to the greatness of God, cripple me. My Pastor asked one day, "If you truly believed in God, in Jesus and in his calling for you and your mission, would your life look any different?"
Initially I struggled with grasping the magnitude of this question. I simply thought, "No, I already do believe and I live how I live... so nothing would change." But then, I began remembering how I responded to my sister when she upset me the night before, how I struggled with giving money to the homeless, tithing regularly, overindulging in areas of my life, times where I lacked self control, where I didn't cast down those wicked thoughts & imaginations, and the list just goes on and on.
I know I'm not perfect. We all fall short, especially me. But eventually, I want people to look at me and see the spiting image of Jesus smiling back at them. I want to be as Christ-like as possible and so I needed my life to change.
Because I truly believe, I decided my life needed to look different.
And I think serving with the Peace Corps is a start in the right direction. I'm not joining the Peace Corps to save the world. Im not here to change the Ethiopian youth, because whose to say they need changing? I am simply here to serve, to be the hands and feet of Christ. To show His love and honestly I'm here to save myself. I pray that this experience opens my eyes, and my heart. That I learn more about myself and this world that we live in. I want to grow by the end of this journey, I want it to help shape me into the woman Christ intends for me to become, and to glorify him the entire way through.
When my pastor asked that question, I had to reevaluate my reasons for joining the Peace Corps. Of course my intentions still aren't 100% altruistic. I serve because I'm called to, but I also serve because I want to. I have an inborn love for travel and a curiosity of other cultures. I believe God made me this way, and I will do what I love for Him, and with Him, because its the least I can do. I believe I am blessed to be a blessing unto others, and Peace Corps allows me to give back and serve in a way that I enjoy.
Day 1 out of 800. I'm in DC and I leave for Ethiopia at 5am on July 1st.
Here's to my life looking a little bit different.
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor 10:31
