International Pen Pal Exchange

In an effort to make writing more fun, & engaging, I decided to organize an International Pen Pal Project with my classes and some of the English club students who showed interest. I utilized every social media outlet possible (lies, I only used Facebook) and I contacted my teacher friends in an effort to find American teachers that were teaching high school students and who were seriously interested in this project.
 
I was soooo pumped and excited for this exchange. It would give my kids a chance to experience life through another kids eyes, in another country, in another culture. It would get them to see pass their small world and limitations. It would give them a reason to improve their writing skills!!!  which are seriously lacking…

I managed to locate one 9th grade class in Nicaragua, one 9th grade class in Japan, one with my friend Chelsea another PCV serving in a different region of Ethiopia, and several in America (one of them being my Alma mater Palisades High School woot woot!)

 I thought I was the bees knees for organizing this project. (and i still think I kinda am) But what I didn't anticipate were all the problems this international exchange would present.

I managed to find many solutions for all these potential problems.

#1 make students OVER explain EVERYTHING. Remind them that the smallest detail of their lives might be fascinating to a child in another country. I also told my kids to use adjectives to describe the cultural items they mentioned or draw photos!

#2 I talked with each teacher ahead of time to ask them about taboo topics & we agreed to screen all letters and tell the kids what they could/ couldn't say. Another option is to let the kids share what they want willingly to challenge their mindset, & learn how to respect others differences. But I wasn't about to play this risky game with the LGBT stuff…

#3 The teachers that I’m working with and myself agreed to address common misconceptions about each country and culture. Innocent questions and curiosity is harmless, but hopefully we can remind our students not to be insensitive. The purpose of this cross cultural exchange is to share cultures and part of that will be dispelling myths and providing true insight.

#4 I don't know how many teachers I talked too before selecting the ones that I did. SO MANY interested parties just stopped responding to my emails, or would respond VERY late and I took that as a sign that they would be late with everything else. So I shopped around to find the teachers that were as serious about this project as I was. And I found some AMAZING teachers! One is already talking about helping me put on a book drives and getting donations to my school!

#5 I read & edit every one of my kids letters and I have them rewrite them with the corrections. All 200-ish of them. And the students struggling the most with writing are signed up to write their pen pal letters to other Ethiopian students. I also make our bimonthly letters include things we are currently learning and use it as a way to test my kids and get them serious about writing properly. (Proper grammar, adverbs, adjectives, new vocabulary words, and certain tenses (past, present, continuous)

These were the main problems that I could foresee with this project and that I experienced as I began to correct student letters.

One problem that I didn't consider at all until it started happening was plagiarism.

 

The above letter reads:

Dear Bankmoon the President of China, first of all may my peace reach you. As I have tried to remind you in the previous letter, concerning our peaceful relationship, our relationship shall continue with the feelings of brotherhood without any interruption.

      Our relationship shall be based on the exchange of: - various transactions, different mode of life, styles of learning.  And also, it shall be on the basis of mutual aid in the times of problem and emergency situations. All these conditions should be conducted in a faithful and brotherhood manner.

Additionally, the exchange of:- good cultures, good governing systems and models of economic development could be borrowed betwen us.

     Generally, our relationship shall be based upon exchange of :- various transactions, good cultures, good governing system and models of economic development in the faithfulness and brotherly hood manner.

With best regards,

Bold faced plagiarism! And its not even good plagiarism! How did this student ever think this would fly?!

1) I’ve graded your other test, I’ve seen what your capable of on a good day and a bad day. And I don't think you even know how to spell "models of economic development"     [-_-]

2) Who told you that you were writing to the President of China? THE PRESIDENT OF CHINA! lol Its great that you think so highly of yourself... apparently this isn't your first letter to Mr. Bankmoon, since you "reminded him in the previous letter" smh...

Two of my students wrote this letter to the President of China. It became abundantly clear to me that maybe my kids didn't know that they would be writing ACTUAL students. Although I told them several times and I told them what to write in their letters (name, age, family information, future goals...) Perhaps they thought I just wanted them to put together any letter for a grade... I really don't know... In addition to letters for the President of China, I also got this...

The above letter reads:

Dear Manager
Jimma Company
PO BOX
Jimma

Dear sir,
I am writing to apply for the post of clerical officer you have advertised in Ethiopia.
     I am responsible person and willing to work hard in the post. My father says that I deserve a good job as I have worked hard at school and passed all of my examination with distinction in English and maths. I incolsed detelid of may examination results and hope that you will consider me seutable    application for the posistion. I look forward to hearing from you.
    Your faithfully,


This kid decided to apply for a job!
I had a good laugh reading many of my kids letters. They were just SO RANDOM! Others looked like this:

At least this student didn't copy. The above print is how MOST of my kids letters, homework assignments & test papers look.

This student may not have completed the assignment, but it was authentic. I cant say the same for the others.

I soon discovered that the kids who were plagiarizing letters to the president, or job applications, or just copying random letters, were all students who are scoring pretty low in my class. These kids were soo intimidated by writing these letters that they only felt comfortable stealing written work from other sources and other people.

Here is another letter from a student in my 9th grade class who struggles with English but tries so hard to learn and has shown SO MUCH improvement. She makes my heart smile.

 

This letter reads:

Dear Pen Pal,

    My name is Seble Moges I'm so excited to get to know you! I live in Welisso my country name is Ethiopia. I am 23 years old. I have 3 brother and 3 sister. My father is dead two years ago. My interest is help my mother and sister and brother. My free time swming and different film watch. I funn to study my lesson. Finally my plan go to university then I study Ingereing b/c (because) I help to building my country. 

:) <3

Sebles writing is typical for the 9th graders in my class. Well for the majority of the class, there are another 25% of students who are below her writing level skill.

This letter is an example of the TOP  25%. The Gobez clever kids in my class.

 

This letter reads:

Dear Pen Pal,

    My name is Lemane. I come from Ethiopia, Wolisso town. I am 15 years old. I have a familey. My fathers name is Duguma and he is police man. my mothers name is Asrael and she is a teacher. I have a brother and a sister. They are claver students.

    I like to watch Amharic films, Amharic is the national language of Ethiopia. And I like to ride my bicycle in my free time. I like Injera and coffee. Injera is the traditional food of Ethiopia. It is very delicious food.

    My future plan is to go to university and graduate with a degree in medicine and then I will become to a doctor. I think you understand my name, my family, my favorite food and drink. Now what is your favorite food and drink Your future plans and what do you like in your free time. Thank you for every one

Best wishes

Your friend

I ended up providing a template for the students who needed it most. Providing something like...

Hello, My name is _________. I am ______ Years old and I am from _________.

Students who could barely write at all ended up using this template, but still wrote things like

Hello, My name is __Ashley_______.

Sometimes I just dont know what to do with my students haha God bless them. But this Pen pal exchange is in full effect :) I promise to keep yall updated on how it goes!

6 months in country & Vlog #14

Things you get used to after living 6 months in Ethiopia

#1
Being a celebrity

everywhere you go, you’re being watched. The townspeople know what you did last summer, yesterday, and this morning.

Kids on the school campus  hang outside of windows & stand outside your classroom door just to get glimpses of you. You get used to kids staring at you. In fact you learn how to classify the stares

The wait... are you speaking English?! But aren't you Ethiopian stare

The quick glances, side eye & I'm tryna be lowkey and not have you know I'm staring stare

The stare / winks / gestures that say "hey hot stuff, come over here" but their mouths actually say" ANCHI! you ANCHI! you ANCHI! you,  Where are you go?

The you don't speak Amharic.. but you're black so what part of Africa are you from kinda stare 

The I'm looking at you dead in the eye and not blinking cuz i have no shame staring kinda stare

The let me watch you walk down the block, turn the corner and look back to see me still staring at you stare

#2
You get used to living amongst livestock and seeing, smelling and avoiding stepping on poop everywhere. You also know that you must carry your own soap & toilet paper wherever you go, because restaurants, schools, offices and just every single place in Ethiopia refuses to provide you with these thngs.

Yeah we have a bathroom.
oh but you thought we'd provide the toilet paper for you.. awww, how cute

#3
Seeing men in women's clothing and shoes. A 40 year old man wearing ruby red Jellies will no longer leave you confused.

Nor will you be confused when that ruby red jellies man starts walking hand in hand down the street with another man. Or even when he places his hand on another mans thigh as they sit down. Yup male affection is a thing here.

Two male friends showing the world that they are besties

#4
You begin to slowly realize that you're feet will never look the same again. A lack of hot water, mani-pedis, and the fact that your town mainly has dirt roads has changed your feet for the worse.

#5
You embrace being known as the crazy foreigner.
Yup I'm 25, childless & not married
Yup Im a woman sitting alone in a restaurant, eating & paying for my own meal.
Yup I wear ALOT of pants. I walk my dog on a lease & sometimes I wear knee high socks - keep staring, maybe you’ll learn how not to give a crap one day too.

You learn a lot about yourself living in a new country and culture for 6 months…

 #6
 I’ve realized, for one that I am not that friendly

Sure I smile, I am polite, but while you’re sitting there mistaking my kindness for interest and babbling on and on about your life, im sitting here like...

I’ve always known that I needed my ME time, I need a lot of personal space. And this little fact about me has been highlighted in Ethiopia. Ethiopians are never really alone. These people are incredibly hospitable, friendly and sociable. And it wasn't until their culture of “lets always be together sunshine and rainbows” started to clash with my “loner mode” did I realize how inhospitable, unfriendly, and unwelcoming I could truly be.

Just leave me in my solitude

#7
I’ve realized that I am low-key brave

Family back home sometimes throw this word around like “Oh Ashley is so adventurous & brave for traveling solo, or for going to Africa, etc… And I never saw what they were talking about. I still don't when it comes to the traveling aspect of it all… But I’ve seen bravery in myself when I’m walking through town and that crazy guy down the street starts following me or bothering my friend. I’ll quickly push his hand away, or stand taller in any guys presence who seems threatening here…its probably because most Ethiopian men here are so small though lol

#8
I’ve realized that I am dirty

I sometimes go several weeks without a shower and Im ok with it. I’ll just baby wipe this area.. and that area..put on a clean pair of underwear and Ill call it a day. I kiss my dog, I sleep with him somedays, and oh.. wait is that a flea? It is… hmm, what Tv show should I watch next?

#9
I’ve realized how much I love my family and Church
Sometimes you don't realize the support system you have until its gone.

#10
And finally,

I’ve realized that I can totally do the remainder of my ~1.5 years left in Ethiopia

6 months down. 21 more to go.

Vlog #14 in Honor of reaching 6 months in country.

“Happiness is a warm puppy.”

The Hes so cute I could eat his little face off photo

Christmas puppy

He was given to me by another PC friend and although my run with animals hasn't been very good in Ethiopia...

Baby chick.... dead
Kitten... probably dead
lol

I promise this puppy will be different! Peace Corps Ethiopia volunteers aren't officially allowed to have animals as pets because rabies is so prevalent here.

BUT as a good mother, I've already found a vet in Addis and I'm just waiting for Mojojojo here to get old enough to take the rabies shot.

Oh yeah... Im awesome ;)

 

What wasn't very awesome was how Mojo ended up peeing on the woman who sat next to me on the bus as he rode to Wolisso for the first time.

 

Yeah that was very awkward... Mojo is from the town of Aleta Wondo in the South of Ethiopia. Hes Ethiopian born and bred. I've had several dogs in the past, so I didnt worry too much about bringing Mojo into my home and making him the newest member of my family.

But then I remembered that I live in Ethiopia...where do you buy dog food? flea collars? chew toys? and dog shampoo? It turns out that you dont. Not even in Addis.

I talked to Mojos new Vet, and he confirmed that all my pups food had to be homemade, and that if I wanted toys and flea collars and leashes and things of that sort then I would have to have them mailed to me.
 After a quick Google search the food problem quickly dissipated. Currently Mojo is eating boiled powdered milk with oats, scrambled, or boiled eggs. Corn flour with hot water and milk, injera, rice, CousCous, and some fruits, veggies and meat when I can afford to give it to him or mix it in his meal.

I know that culturally many Ethiopians, especially those living in rural towns, do not keep dogs as pets and my experience with Mojo thus far has shown me exactly how true this is. Dogs are used solely for protecting the house. They are commonly mistreated, chained up 24/7 and not given much affection. This makes them into very aggressive, yet very affective guard dogs. 

But it also means that I have now given the people of my town another reason to stare at me and think of me as the crazy foreigner.

I play with Mojo, I kiss him, and hold him, and pet him and even let him sleep in my house, sometimes on my bed.

This is exactly how my landlady, the kids in my compound and EVERYONE in town looks at me when Im interacting with my new pup.

Its quite hilarious actually. Im so accustomed to the stares and townspeople talking about me that it does not faze me in the slightest. In fact I've decided that maybe the people of Wolisso can learn a little something about dogs and how they can be more than just vicious biting machines.

Im teaching Mojo how to sit and follow other commands in both English and Amharic. So this way when I say "Sit" in Amharic the townspeople will understand the command and be that much more impressed when they see that the dog listens.

Im trying to show the kids in my compound how to play with him. Because currently they are either afraid to go near him, or they only kick & throw rocks at him because that's what they see other people doing to dogs in town.

 

I walk Mojo on a self made leashe all around Wolisso. People laugh and point at me, they jeer, and smile and shake their heads at "the crazy foreigner" with her dog on a rope.

Grown men and children see me walking with the dog, and now even without the dog and they yell out 

"Woosha!" dog

"Woosha!"  dog

"Woosha!" dog

 I prefer it to "YOU, YOU, YOU" or "Ferenji" haha But in addition to getting a kick out of laughing at me, these people are also seeing Mojo follow me happily with his talk wagging. They see him eager to greet and play with others who come near and they see him not growling or barking. Im going to make my pup into the worlds most friendliest and well behaved dog, in an effort to dispel the myths about dogs that people have here.

When I brought Mojo home, the first thing my landlady said to me was "I do not like dogs", and I was worried that she would make me get rid of him. But she didnt.. well not yet anyway.. so that makes me even more eager to properly train him.

My next door neighbor also approached me and said "Why did you get this dog? He is ugly. He is Ethiopian dog. You should have got American dog. Ethiopian dogs are not nice.  He will give you problem. I am afraid he will eat you."

I tried telling the man that all dogs can be trained and tamed and be great pets. But he just smiled at me, probably thinking "This ridiculous foreigner is gonna die when this pup gets bigger" 

Mojo playing with a new friend... who eventually gave him fleas and so now I've forbidden him from every seeing her again.

Update: Its been about a month since I brought Mojo home and THIS HAPPENED! :D

Kas by kas Seeing the kids play with mojo like this makes me so happy. A few weeks ago they would only throw things at him, and touch him with the soles of their shoes for fear of him biting them. When I brought mojo home I was told by my landlady and neighbors that he was ugly, that he would eat me, and that they didnt like dogs. I knew id have to change their perception and that it would take time.. but little by little I feel it happening :)

A video posted by Ashley Nicole (@ashleysayque) on Jan 15, 2015 at 3:36am PST

Ethiopian Christmas

I have officially survived the holiday season. 70 volunteers came into Ethiopia with my group (G11) in June and now 59 remain. About 4-5 of the people who’ve left Ethiopia, left during the holiday season.

It can be challenging being away from family & friends during this time of year, I’ve found it challenging myself.

Christmas for me usually means family, fond childhood memories, togetherness, spirituality, laughs and love. As a Christian Peace Corps Volunteer, it is fascinating to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in a country and culture that regards religion as everything.

Whether Muslim or Christian, religion is so intertwined within Ethiopian culture it is difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. Waking up to the calls of prayer everyday becomes synonymous with Ethiopian culture, but it finds its roots in religion. Seeing “Fasting foods” written on the pages of every menu in every restaurant you go to becomes normal, as does eating goat and lamb because people do not eat the “unclean” pig here. Religion dictates the way people dress, the foods they cook, the way they dance, sing and live.

 Lunch at a friends for Genna Christmas

There aren't many frills with celebrating the birth of Christ here in Ethiopia. No ostentatious red & green Christmas lights & decorations covering the outside of homes, no tales of Santa Claus, his reindeer or anything that can diminish the true meaning of this Holy day. Celebrating Christmas in Ethiopia means a time of prayer, family and church. Many Ethiopians fast for 40 days and break their fast on Christmas day to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior. The scent of sweet spices, the gathering of family, and sounds of laughter fill the room. Simple decorations are put up, and small gifts are sometimes given to little children. But all gives praise and glory to God for the gift of life His Son gave us. January 7th is when Ethiopians celebrate the day that the Son of God also became the Son of man. When he would physically be "God with us", Emmanuel.

There is something pure and completely uplifting about the simplicity of Christmas in Ethiopia. I admire how true they stay to the root of Christmas. It is looked at only as the birth of Jesus, and only celebrated by those who rejoice & recognize the significance of that moment in time. My Christmas in Ethiopia was very intimate. With my family and my closest friends an ocean away, I spent most of my time in solitude. Lonely at first, and missing the festivities back home, and then just alone with Him. I try to meditate on His goodness, His grace, and His love. We talk, I pray and reflect on life, a higher purpose, & forgiveness.

I need to learn how to have more moments like this. I need to work on just dwelling in His presence.

Melkam Genna Merry Christmas

"If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: 'God with us.' We tend to focus our attention at Christmas on the infancy of Christ. The greater truth of the holiday is His deity.  More astonishing than a baby in the manger is the truth that this promised baby is the omnipotent Creator of the heavens and the earth!"

-  John MacArthur

Holidays abroad & Vlog #13

A very truthful humorous definition of Peace Corps.. in case you still don't know what it is.. 

Happy holidays!!!
Halloween. Thanks giving. Christmas. New Years

So many holidays and nobody to celebrate them with out here in Ethiopia.. well except my awesome Sitemates & other Peace Corps homies :)


This is how I spent my holidays this season.

Vlog #13
IST = In Service Training

I got to meet up with all my PC friends in Addis for a full week for IST. Luckily for us, IST was only 5 days before Christmas.. so we decided to do a secret santa gift exchange in the spirit of Christmas :)








Thanksgiving
was spent with my wonderful site mates and about 20 other PCV's who decided to crash in Wolisso for the weekend. We had a potluck thanksgiving and all put in money to pay for certain foods, others shared the contents of their care packages & magically we managed to whip all this together. There was a chicken curry dish, stuffing, candy, cookies, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes & mac and cheese from a craft macaroni box lol. Still I was extremely impressed & felt all tingly inside as we all gave thanks and I sat and ate with my new PC family.

Vlog#12 Packing for PC

Packing for 2 years of your life can be very stressful. So don't think of it that way! You aren't packing for the next full two years anyway because most items you want to bring can be found in country after all. So focus on stocking up on the things that CANT be found in country…and honestly for Ethiopia that mainly means certain foods/snacks.

and things like

Pads/tampons
available in country but EXPENSIVE $$$. Many PC females swear by the Diva cup, so I’d say check that out.

Electronics
Laptop. Ipod. Kindle. Smartphone. some electronics are available in country but they're EXPENSIVE $$$. Also its not wise to mail these items so bring them with you! Bring your smart phone unlocked. PC will give you a sim card for it & most PCVs with smartphones have been able to get internet. Check out apps like WhatsApp or Viber, they allow you to txt / call and leave voice notes to others internationally for free (just make sure the ppl you hope to contact also download the apps)

I also installed Google Voice on my computer & have been able to use it to call or text ppl in the states. Its like skype, but its free & there is no video. You are literally calling and texting peoples cellphones from your gmail account. They can txt you back & it comes to you as an email. I looovee Google Voice.

Spices
 you can find SOME in country but from my experience so far, the quality is horrendous. Well the ones you can buy in stores. Spices are also sold on market days, and im sure the quality of those are much better, but unless you can identify the spice by eye, then I’d suggest stocking up at home.

Misc
Tap lights. & Headlamp. Both have served me well and i dont think Ive meet a volunteer who regretted bringing them.

Hygeine
Deodorant - I brought like 12 sticks of Dove deodorant and im glad I did. I have never seen any solid stick deodorants in country and Im sure my 12 will last me a full 2 years.
Bath & Body works soaps & body wash are very nice to have when you want to treat yourself every once in awhile.
Hand Sanitizer - the small travel sized ones are great to have

Kitchen appliances
Vegetable peeler
(I found a good knife, & pan in country, although they were expensive)


Clothes
As far as clothing. I brought like 10 pairs of leggins. Several black pairs but also others with different colors or patterns. They are comfortable, light to pack, easy to hand wash and save you a ton of space in your luggage. Just try to wear them with shirts/dresses and things that cover your butt, so its more culturally appropriate.

Bring 2 or 3 “cute” or professional outfits, so you have something to wear when you go out in Addis or if you’re giving a presentation or working with NGO’s.

Pack more underwear & socks than you think you’ll ever need.
(I brought more clothes than I listed, I just thought I'd mention my favorite clothing items. Long skirts,  & workout clothes are things I'd recommend too)

Shoes
I know its like in the Peace Corps Bible to  bring a pair of Chacos or Hiking boots, and I think these things can come in handy… if you live in an area where you need them. I didn't get a pair of hiking boots and I dont feel like I need one. I did bring 2 pairs of running shoes that have been wonderful and 1 pair of rain-boots that I also love. My Chacos are good too, I wear them when I have on a long skirt & I know I will be walking far.

Medicines
PC gives you a grip of medicines & first aid supplies, so dont bother buying them. But I was happy that I brought a bottle of Advil with me. Its nice using 1 thing that is familiar and you dont feel like you have to read the label because you dont recognize the name.

****Remember that during the first 3 months you will be living with a host family. They will be preparing & providing all your meals. So if there are things you want like quality knives, a non-stick pan, spices, etc. Then I’d suggest gathering those items, putting them in a box and leaving it with someone you trust so they can mail it out to you when you move into your new site. PC gives you a weight limit on the luggage you bring with you, so save the pounds & space since you wont be using these items for the first 3 months anyway.******

Trying to see through a cultural lense

 Wolisso

Two of the teachers in my school have being trying to "get" with me. Them and the clerk at the post office, who stole my telephone number and would creepily call me late at night trying to speak English, but only managing to say the word "Hello, are you fine?" over and over again. Weeirddooo.

Being the foreigner in town definitely gets you plenty of unwanted attention, especially when people think that you'd be a ticket to America. But what I find absolutely hilarious is the way some of my suitors approach & talk to me.

Both of the teachers would text me late at night and talk about how pretty & kind & sociable I was, that nights were lonely in Africa and that he could be my friend. The other tried flattery but avoided being as forward as the last guy, but he'd invite out to bunna bets (coffee houses) so I knew he was interested. I never responded to either one of these guys texts, I would just read them and laugh.

But one day after I had finished teaching, and began to walk home, one of the teachers popped out of nowhere and decided to escort me home.

"Ashley, are you fine? How is the weather condition?
"Oh, yes I am doing well, and the weather is great." I said, hoping this convo wouldn't be long.
"Did you get my message? You did not respond"
*silence*

Honestly I was surprised he would even bring up the fact that I've been ignoring him, I didnt want to be rude... I can be subtle and get the same message across I thought to myself.

"uhm yes.. I got your message, but you texted me too late. I do not respond to messages that late at night. If you want to talk to me, then text me during the day"

"Oh ok..." He solemnly replied.

*awkward silence*

"Well I think I'm going to take a bajaj instead of walking home. I will see you tomorrow at school! Ciao" I tried escaping as quickly as I could, but he was not about to give up that easily.

"I will bajaj with you!" He jumps in the little car with me and proceeds engaging me in a conversation I want to label as... uniquely Ethiopian.

"Ashley, what kind of weather do you like?"
Odd question I thought to myself, but whatever... its harmless "Uhm idk, cold weather I guess"

"Yes.. most fat people like the cold."

My Jaw Dropped.

WWOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW
Did he really just say that lol

I was confused... I know he likes me... so he cant be trying to insult me can he?

 And he continued.

"I think it must make your breathing easier..."

I start laughing at this point... "yes maybe"

The bajaj begins nearing my exit, so I jump off and try to pay for my ride.

"NO, NO, NO.. I will pay!" He says as he pushes my money away and gives the driver his own.
"Oh you dont have to do that, please let me pay.. I insist!" I try again.

"NO, no, no, no" He hands the driver the cash and gets out of the car with me.
"So where is your house" he begins to ask.

I really don't want this guy to walk me home and find out where I live. Hes not a creep or anything, hes a sweet guy, but I just don't want to deal with having him pop up near/around my house or "accidentally" bumping into me.

"Uhm I'm going to go to the post office first" I tell him, "so goodbye! Ciao" I wave goodbye and start walking away.

"Wait, wait!" He says as he runs behind me to catch up. "I have to go to the post office too."

-_-

really... REALLY?!

whatever. So we walk to the post office together.

Once there I had to write the letters, add addresses and everything because I wasnt originally planning to send the mail that day. But the guy backed me into a corner.

The process of letter writing, and mailing took about 20min and the interested teacher just stood there the entire time, patiently waiting for me.

After 1 escape attempt. 1 bajaj ride (that he paid for). 20 min at the post office. And fresh out of ideas to stall with. I decided to tell him that I was going to go home now.

"First come, lets drink coffee" He said with an little smile.

He really was harmless. And he's just trying to show me that hes interested so I guess I can be a little nicer to him, especially since hes so determined to try, I thought to myself.

"Ok.. lets go."

We sat inside the little bunna bet and continued making chit chat. The chit chat that im labeling unique to Ethiopians once again.

"Ashley, I like your clothes, you, you dress so simple. So many women in Ethiopia spend so much time on their hair and makeup, and nails and wear these high heels and they spend so much money! But you are different, you only wear T-shirts"

 "Yes I do have a lot of T-shirts" I said with a smile. Here in Wolisso, I make sure to dress simply. In fact I choose an outfit & wear that outfit for the entire week, because that's what nearly everyone does here. And I'm not trying to stand out as the rich American with a ton of clothes and a different outfit everyday. In Wolisso I keep it simple... now Addis is a different story.

"... and your hair is always like that..."

I smile and nod in acknowledgment.

"... and, see, look, there is a hole in your shirt now..."

" haha yes" I said through a chuckle of surprise. Why am I getting the feeling that this dude  is lowkey bashing me?!

"Well... actually I do like to get made up a lot, but because I'm in Ethiopia, I try to keep it simple since I am not interested in dating.. I am only here to work..." I said, hoping he would pick up on my meaning.

"Yes, yes but you have a natural beauty. You do not need the makeup or to straighten your hair"

"aww thanks"

"Ashley do you ever workout?"

"uhm yes, but not as much as I should"

"Yes, I noticed that you always take a bajaj to school. You do not walk"

"I do take the bajaj, but I enjoy walking too."

"Maybe this is why you are so fat?! huh"

I was unable to suppress the laughter this time. I start cracking up.
This. is. Unbelievable.

"What is so funny? Did you hear about the American man who weighs more than 500 kilos!!"

"Oh wow, no I did not" I said, while wondering how much 500 kilos was in pounds.

"How much do you weigh?!"

*silence*
ok... RUDE! And I swear I remember being told that in Ethiopian culture, asking questions about a womans weight & age IS considered rude. So why is he asking me this?

"uhm well I dont know because we dont use kilos in America" I answered

"well how many pounds are you then?"

This guy just wont quit! And idk if I should tell him that this is considered to be rude or inappropriate in my American culture...

"Well honestly I dont know that either because I have not weighed myself in over 5 months"

"Well, I think you are maybe 100 kilos or something like that."

Did he really just guess at my weight.... Why is he so stuck on this?!
And how much is 100 kilos I wondered... I bet hes really trying to insult me!

( I looked it up later and 100 kilos is 220 pounds. Which for a 5'3 -5'4 girl is pretty freaking big. Not that hes WAAAYY off. I have weighed that much in my life, and more at my highest weight, but I certainly wasn't 220 now)

"How big is your bed Ashley?"
" Uh I dont know" I replied, glancing at the door and waiting for the opportune moment to leave. And if he uses the topic of my bed to say another fat comment....

"I think there is room enough for two people on it?" He asks

"Uhm I guess, but I always sleep alone. Anyway, I have to go, bye!"

I had to end that conversation short before it got any further. I left feeling a complex mixture of amusement, annoyance and bewilderment.

His last comment about my bed makes me think he is still trying to "flirt" or let me know hes interested. But the fat comments, on top of how bummy I dressed just really confused me. And they annoyed me too.

I couldn't decide what his intentions were!
I decided to believe that they were harmless and that this guy was just very blunt. I've had other encounters like this before in my town in Ethiopia. From my community liasion who I think was intentionally being rude, to random people I engage in conversation in Wolisso and now this teacher.

None of these encounters about my "fatness" has made me feel insecure or upset.

Well except one time.
The only time I was devastated by an Ethiopian that called me fat, was when the guy was very attractive, and in the midst of a conversation with me batting my eyelashes, and smiling as I stared in admiration of his beauty, he casually mentioned that I was fat. And in that moment I knew he probably didnt feel the same way about me lol

Through all these encounters I try to remind myself to look through a cultural lense, to see why some people say what they say, what they mean and their intentions behind it. This is something that all PCVs have to do if they want to survive in country, heck its something every person who travels internationally has to do if they want to enjoy travel & learn from new peoples and cultures. Get out of your cultural mindset and into another's. This is the only way to understand different people and to appreciate them for what/who they are.

I've learned to accept the "Fat" thing in Ethiopia, when I do hear it. I dont get upset, &  I dont feel insecure about myself. It instead makes me laugh because I know its not coming from a negative place, the innocence in the comment makes the situation very humours to me and to many other PCV's. We all share our "fat" stories.

One person I knew was living in Ethiopia and training for a marathon. Her Ethiopian friends were all out drinking the night before the marathon, and they asked her to drink with them.

"NO no, I cant have a drink. I have a run tomorrow and I don't want to get dehydrated" She replied.
"You are too fat to run. If you can not run, your fat is why" One guy said.
"You must use the extra fat that you have as strength to run" Another chimed in

lol

Another PCV was sitting down & talking to this Ethiopian man who was fasting for some religious holiday.

"You should fast! You have so much fat, you would be good for fasting!" The man excitedly told him.